I haven’t written a review in a while so I figured I better start back in with a bang. I was out with a few friends one of which was an ABInBev rep, so of course I was offered the newest and greatest beer: Bud Light Platinum. I saw all the commercials and, I’ll be honest, I was a bit intrigued. So I tried one.
I comes in a very blue bottle and smells like a regular old Bud Light, Miller Lite, etc. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about you aren’t missing anything.) The only difference I noticed so far, was that the bottle said 6% (higher ABV the Bud and less calories, I can drink and be thin!). I was worried, a “light” beer that is relatively higher in alcohol. My brain tried to stop me, “This is going to be horrible” it said. This wasn’t going to be stopped.
Sometimes, the beer fairy makes a visit and leaves great treasures in your fridge, or on your porch. I woke up Sunday with just such a treasure. I get up before 9am almost everyday because I have a dog that can’t shit in a toilet.
During the week, that lazy sack of shit stays in my bed until the last possible second. I get out of the shower and there he is, sleeping with his head on the pillow and covers pulled up over his body like some fucking petulant school child trying to play hooky. He waits until my clothes are on and I double check to make sure all my stuff is ready for work. Only when I grab the leash does he reluctantly drag his ass out of bed with what I can only describe as the most over-exaggerated stretching routine. Then he looks at me like I am disturbing him from some super important dog business. I take him to the park, but he takes his sweet fucking time finding a place to piss and shit. Then he slowly ambles back to the house sniffing every goddamn thing on the way home for 3 minutes. Fuck that dog.
Pop quiz: What is the greatest combination of food and drink possible?
a) Filet Mignon and Cabernet
b) Canned Tuna and Yoo-Hoo
c) Peach Schnapps and Black Liquorice
d) Spaghetti and 40s
What is the greatest combination of 2 things ever?
a) cocaine and blow jobs
b) world peace and unlimited money
c) weed and the Muppets Take Manhattan
d) spaghetti and 40s
The answer to both questions is “d”.
If you have a full-time job, then you probably spend the majority of your awake time in an office you can’t stand with people who make you fantasize that abortion was legal up to the 150th trimester. You probably live in a house or home of varying upkeep and condition. You probably live with one or more other persons who you may hate with the intensity of a thousand Suns, genuinely love and respect, or think are just ok-depending on how difficult they are making your life at the particular moment you can recall their name. You need a place to go when you aren’t watching your stories and your boss is not expecting you at work. You need a local bar.
There are lots of things necessary for a great local bar. They are beer selection, clientele, atmosphere, localness, price, and wildcard. (more…)