Brew Review: Bud Light Platinum
I haven’t written a review in a while so I figured I better start back in with a bang. I was out with a few friends one of which was an ABInBev rep, so of course I was offered the newest and greatest beer: Bud Light Platinum. I saw all the commercials and, I’ll be honest, I was a bit intrigued. So I tried one.
I comes in a very blue bottle and smells like a regular old Bud Light, Miller Lite, etc. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about you aren’t missing anything.) The only difference I noticed so far, was that the bottle said 6% (higher ABV the Bud and less calories, I can drink and be thin!). I was worried, a “light” beer that is relatively higher in alcohol. My brain tried to stop me, “This is going to be horrible” it said. This wasn’t going to be stopped.
Beer Madness! (An ode to ale, college basketball, and day drinking)
You are probably an American or living in America. (If you are not, please click this link.) Since you are an American or have had America thrust upon you, then I am sure you are aware of the big month-long amateur sporting contest that begins this week. This contest is a great opportunity to gamble and to slack off at work while doing research* for your impending gambling binge. The great thing about this implicit endorsement of wagering on the physical performance of 19-year-old boys, is that everyone can participate and anyone can win.
Your college is not represented? Fill out your bracket predicting the 1st round demise of your hated rival. You don’t know the difference between a box-in-one and a box of shit? Fill out your bracket based on which mascot would win in a fight. You know more about college basketball than Dick Vitale and Bill Raftery? I guarantee your bracket will not win. Karen from accounting is going to win because she likes Kansas State’s purple uniforms.
In honor of this great gambling orgy, J Street Beer is doing you a favor. We have combined your two favorite things into one great thing. Alcohol and gambling. Together at last! That’s correct, we are hosting our inaugural J Street Beer Madness Super-Brew Tournament For The Ages (JSBMSBTFTA, for short). Over the next few weeks we will whittle our 64 brews down to one supreme beer champion. View the bracket below and then vote on the individual match-ups. The voting will be for a complete 24 hour period and each match-up will coincidentally be voted on during the same day as the corresponding match-up in that other tournament that everybody in your office will predict better than you. When we get to the excellent eight final beers, J Street Beer will have head-to-head taste tests to determine the winner.
On to the match ups…
The Beer Fairy Hates Me
Sometimes, the beer fairy makes a visit and leaves great treasures in your fridge, or on your porch. I woke up Sunday with just such a treasure. I get up before 9am almost everyday because I have a dog that can’t shit in a toilet.
During the week, that lazy sack of shit stays in my bed until the last possible second. I get out of the shower and there he is, sleeping with his head on the pillow and covers pulled up over his body like some fucking petulant school child trying to play hooky. He waits until my clothes are on and I double check to make sure all my stuff is ready for work. Only when I grab the leash does he reluctantly drag his ass out of bed with what I can only describe as the most over-exaggerated stretching routine. Then he looks at me like I am disturbing him from some super important dog business. I take him to the park, but he takes his sweet fucking time finding a place to piss and shit. Then he slowly ambles back to the house sniffing every goddamn thing on the way home for 3 minutes. Fuck that dog.
3xB: Olde English 800
Pop quiz: What is the greatest combination of food and drink possible?
a) Filet Mignon and Cabernet
b) Canned Tuna and Yoo-Hoo
c) Peach Schnapps and Black Liquorice
d) Spaghetti and 40s
Too easy.
What is the greatest combination of 2 things ever?
a) cocaine and blow jobs
b) world peace and unlimited money
c) weed and the Muppets Take Manhattan
d) spaghetti and 40s
The answer to both questions is “d”.
Ballpark Brews: Search for Good Beer
As you saw from my last post Nationals Park has some great over-priced macro brews. So the question came about: can good beer be found at the stadium? (more…)
Thinking About Drinking Games
Drinking games always leave me with a lot of questions. It’s not anything about how they’re played, but more about their names, players, or general existence. Two that I could never figure out: Why do some people call it beer pong and others Beirut? And, why are girls so good at flip cup?
The question that I want to think about today is a bit different: Where do drinking games fit in the broader beer culture?
The Importance of Proximity: What Makes a Great Local Bar.
If you have a full-time job, then you probably spend the majority of your awake time in an office you can’t stand with people who make you fantasize that abortion was legal up to the 150th trimester. You probably live in a house or home of varying upkeep and condition. You probably live with one or more other persons who you may hate with the intensity of a thousand Suns, genuinely love and respect, or think are just ok-depending on how difficult they are making your life at the particular moment you can recall their name. You need a place to go when you aren’t watching your stories and your boss is not expecting you at work. You need a local bar.
There are lots of things necessary for a great local bar. They are beer selection, clientele, atmosphere, localness, price, and wildcard. (more…)
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