Nice Mussels, Bro. No Homo!

Man cannot live on beer alone.  Although in college my friend acquaintance Matt Gyzlowski lived on only beer for a week.  The results were not encouraging.  He was near delirious most of the week.   I do not recommend trying to do this,  but old Gyz did win a $500 bet.  Either for survival or just because you are a typical overweight American glutton, you have to eat.

But that does not mean you have to stop drinking beer.

And that usually doesn’t mean you have to stop drinking really good beers.

In order to slay the beast of my hunger, I made, with much trepidation, the incredibly inconvenient trip from my Petworth fortress to the untamed wilds of the H street corridor to visit Dr. Granville Moore’s gastropub.

DGM’s is famous for their moules and frites, which they typically offer in 5 or 6 different rotating preparations.   We ordered them in marinere, bleu, and jalfrezi preparation.  The great thing about mussels is that they do not have a strong flavor so therefore absorb the flavors of whatever they are cooked in.  What we had were 3 different delicious ways to enjoy mussels!  We also had the frites with garlic ranch and truffle aioli dipping sauces.  The bleu mussels were a special treat with generous amounts of pork belly in the bowl.  The jalfrezi was full of spicy curry goodness with strong red pepper flavors.  The marinere mussels were perfect with classic garlic and white wine flavors.  The mussels and fries were great, but the price is unbeatable.  You get a full kilo of food for $16.  What’s not to love?

Oh yeah, the beer.  Moules frites is the national dish of Belgium, so naturally DGM’s beer list contains only Belgian style beers.  This is not a bad thing.

Here, have a Stella as I tell you about my backpacking trip through Europe:

Belgium has a rich history of creative craft brewing monks.  They make incredibly strong beers in many styles with unique flavors.  When I was backpacking through Europe after college, I had many great beers in Antwerp and Brecht.  I got very drunk.  I spent almost no money.  It was magic.

/end overly romantic summation.

The first beer I had was the Ommegang Abbey Ale.  While not from Belgium, this is a great example of the Belgian style of beer.  This spectacular ale has a dark walnut hue with flavor notes of plum and red-velvet cake.  If this beer was a woman, she wouldn’t even consider talking to me.  That is how perfect this beer is.

Oh, but we had more beers!

The next beer I tried was the Affligem blonde. Made in a real abbey by real monks, this creamy blonde is so smooth it should come with a handle.  A little strong in the fruit for my taste, Affligem is nonetheless a great example of what men can accomplish when they are no longer concerned with getting laid.  Sorry ladies!

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that you should definitely tell your server and food runner how cute and sexy you think they are.  My mom did that all night and Granville Moore’s comped a good chunk off our bill.

To recap, people like it when you are nice to them.  They really like it when you flatter the shit out of them.

The final beer of our wonderful evening at DGM’s is Troubadour Obscura.  Let me just say that stylistically, I do not like stouts.  I think they are too heavy to drink more than one and not great with food because they typically have such strong flavors.  For what it’s worth, I also feel like coffee should not accompany breakfast for the same reason.  However, Troubadour was great!  A delicious dark chocolaty carnival of decadence, Troubadour hit all the classic stout flavor profiles without overpowering the curry moules and without weighing down your crap factory.  I’ve never had an actual angel poop in my mouth, but I think it would taste and feel a lot like this Troubadour Obscura. In short, Troubadour Obscura = 2 Angels, 1 Cup.

If you couldn’t tell, I had an amazing gastronomical and beeronomical experience at Dr. Granville Moore’s.  I highly recommend you drag your sorry bag of bones down there as soon as possible.

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