3xB: Olde English 800
Pop quiz: What is the greatest combination of food and drink possible?
a) Filet Mignon and Cabernet
b) Canned Tuna and Yoo-Hoo
c) Peach Schnapps and Black Liquorice
d) Spaghetti and 40s
What is the greatest combination of 2 things ever?
a) cocaine and blow jobs
b) world peace and unlimited money
c) weed and the Muppets Take Manhattan
d) spaghetti and 40s
The answer to both questions is “d”.
Tonight, I saw the future. Well, half of the future. I drank a 40oz of Olde English 800 malt liquor. It tasted like college. It tasted like sex. It tasted like enlightenment. Some people claim that beer is supposed to have some complex flavors, notes of fig and mulberry spice. Beer is supposed to be hoppy and chocolatey and oaty.
Sometimes, beer really just needs to taste like a hobo’s penis smells. Sometimes, beer should look the same going in as it does coming out. Sometimes, a man (or lady) just needs to drink a big ass beer. The great thing about drinking a 40oz beer is that the bottle is so big that by the time my beer is still halfway full it is roughly the same temperature as my body. As far as 40oz beers go, “Olde E” (as the rappers call it) is about as top shelf as it gets. For a mere $0.06 per delicious ounce, you get an acrid flavored bottle of death brewed with the passion and craftsmanship of an orderly in a nursing home cleaning a bed pan. Clearly, this 40 is way better than Cobra or Colt .45 (the official beer of the Nkllon mining operation). In fact, in the 40oz market segment, Olde E is the prime choice. This bottle is perfect for a game of Edward 40 Hands with your church youth group or with a plate of delicious delicious spaghetti with marinara.
Dre Day was E-Z’s par day. Never Forget.